Almost ten years ago, a Massachusetts family had a truly terrifying experience that triggered some less-than-generous reactions from others.
And unfortunately, a lot of people who heard about the family, even enjoyed a good belly laugh.
We say “unfortunately” not because the family didn’t get the full empathy they deserved. That’s a different story for a different time.
We say unfortunately because the story of that family’s plight contained a crucial lesson that applies to everyone, bar none. And the people who ridiculed the family missed that lesson.
When we fail to recognize the wisdom contained in the story we do so at our own peril.
Here’s what happened:
It was October, the time when Connors Farm in Danvers, Massachusetts, had finished harvesting its corn and done what they’d done for years: created a seven-acre corn maze.
One late afternoon, a family of a dad, mom, small child, and a newborn entered the maze fully intending to have a fun adventure before the day ended.
But once into the maze, they became disoriented and afraid. They panicked and called 911.The mom told the police dispatcher that they were alone, in the dark, and had a three-week-old infant with them.
Instead of having fun, their adventure had turned into a nightmare.
Now, imagine seven-acres. Just a little bigger than a Walmart. So, not that big, especially if you compare it to the kind of places where people often get lost, like a National Forest.
In fact, it took the search party no more than 10 minutes to find the family. Turns out they were just 25 or 30 feet into the maze.
The story ended well, a quick rescue with no obvious injuries.
And it provided local and national media with news for a few days.
But the live commentary was not very kind to the family. In general, they were portrayed as clueless, dimwits without a bit of common sense.
It was easy for Monday-morning quarterbacks to wonder why the family didn’t simply walk through the corn. Why didn’t they push aside the cornstalks and walk toward the exterior of the maze to escape?
Easier said than done.
In fact, the family did exactly what we all do. Oh, yes. All of us.
They didn’t take that simple step because they didn’t see themselves in the middle of a corn field. They thought they were in the middle of a maze. A maze with walls. And it’s impossible to walk through walls. RIght?
What people missed is that the family acted on the mental model they had of the cornfield/maze.
The truth is that we all make mental models of the world around us. Mental models shape how we understand ourselves, the people around us, our environment, and the circumstances we find ourselves in. We form our own mental models from how we are raised, our values and beliefs, and our education and experiences.
Mental models become the basis of the stories we create. Stories are what distinguish us from other animals. It’s our unique power. A power that has enabled us to achieve remarkable things throughout our history.
But our mental models--our stories--can also lead us astray.
We end up focusing on certain aspects of our experience while overlooking or ignoring others. Then, we generalize and turn those generalizations into principles that guide our actions.
The problem is that built into those principles are flawed assumptions. Just consider that the word “maze” dates all the way back to 13th century Middle English and means delirium or delusion!
We mistake our mental models for reality. And the stories we weave based on those mental models may end up holding us back. They could even prove fatal.
Just think of the person who goes out drinking and then gets behind the wheel telling themselves that it’s just a few miles home and they’ve done it fine in the past . . . and then they have a crash that kills someone . . . or themselves.
On the job, the stories we tell ourselves--and those assumptions embedded within them--can also get us into trouble.
One experience that I’ll always remember is that early in my career, I hired someone who had an uncanny resemblance to my sister-in-law. They could have been identical twins in looks and mannerisms.
I simply couldn’t get the mental model of my extremely talented and skilled sister-in-law out of my mind. And because of that, I didn’t do as thorough a job as I should have during the interview process and quickly hired my “sister-in-law-lookalike.”
You can guess how that story ended: My new hire proved to lack the key skills to do the job and I had to fire her shortly after she came on board.
As we said, creating mental models and crafting stories are a unique human quality. We do them automatically.
But automatic doesn’t mean that we don’t need to test our assumptions, continue to gather new data, adjust--and even change--our mental models to rescript our stories so they work in ways that help, not harm, us.
That all takes discipline and consistent effort. But it’s part of good self-leadership and leadership of others and organizations. It’s also necessary.
The good news is that when we make the effort, it can take us out of the narrow constraints of any maze we find ourselves in and into a much larger field of possibilities.
Learn a few simple tricks to make sure your mental models and stories work and fit for you. Enter your email address below to download your Action Guide: Out of the Maze and Into the Open Field of Possibilities.
Regards,
Dr. Deborah Teplow
Co-Founder
Be Your Own Best Coach
Download the Action Guide: Out of the Maze and Into the Open Field of Possibilities
Enter your email address below to download your Action Guide: Out of the Maze and Into the Open Field of Possibilities and be added to the list for updates on the Be Your Own Best Coach programs and courses.